There once was a small panda who was lost. She only had a bowl of rice and some bamboo when she found this cave; it had a laptop. One day, this small panda stayed in and she pressed a few buttons and found a tumblr.

Excited, the panda giggled at this as the moon rose. She was hooked and thought it was kismet.

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Confident Tuesday! :) #confidence #courage #experience #elenorroosevelt #quote #8daysofquotes #amateurphotography #kawaii

Confident Tuesday! :) #confidence #courage #experience #elenorroosevelt #quote #8daysofquotes #amateurphotography #kawaii

Happy Monday ❤️ #happymonday #happylife  #hughdowns #quote #amateurphotography #rainbow #slc #roadtrip #kawaii

Happy Monday ❤️ #happymonday #happylife #hughdowns #quote #amateurphotography #rainbow #slc #roadtrip #kawaii

It’s just about the hardest war you can ever have with yourself and the world around you. Things could be perfect…perfect job, house, relationship, hobbies, and friends, but that doesn’t change the fact that part of you can’t seem to grasp acceptance and happiness from the wonderful aspects in your life. You’re anxious that it’ll all fall apart in a second. You feel guilty and self-loathing because you don’t think you deserve such wonderful things in your life. You stress over every little thing because you don’t want to lose what you have, but you don’t feel worthy of it all. It’s a hot mess.

The problem is that no one really understands it if they’ve never experienced that feeling of sheer anguish caused by absolutely nothing. It’s like a trigger that no one can see. The funny thing is that you want to talk about it. You want to get help, but the idea of looking weak or pushing those people away is too much to handle. Even the simplest act of asking to talk/vent/interact is exhausting and nerve wrecking.

Depression is amazing though. It just shows how strong our minds really are. They manipulate our perception. They can physically restrain us from doing anything. They can just cause us to radiate this aura of disdain without even saying a word. It’s overwhelming how it slowly digs our hole deeper. It’s disturbing how it eats away at us. We feel lost. We feel alone. We feel unwanted. We feel unloved. It’s truly upsetting.

I do find it humorous as to how people take depression so lightly. People misuse the term constantly and see it as a way of getting attention. Attention? Really? That’s what you think we want? No. We want to know that we’re not crazy. We want to know that there is some kind of answer out there. We want there to be a safe outlet where we are not judged. We want acceptance…not attention.

I’m not writing this to have people ask me if I’m okay or if they can help me. I’m not asking for attention. I’m just venting somewhere because despite having people whom I can run to when I feel this impending doom, I just refuse to talk to then sometimes. I feel as if I am just burdening them when I feel so overwhelmed. I never want to make them feel as if I do not trust them, but I also do not want then to feel as if I merely use them.

See? It’s a very difficult battle. You want to do/say things, but just cannot. You’re constantly scared, paranoid, and upset for no real reason. Apparently it never goes away either, so I’m stuck with these random moments of battles. I am thankful that despite being this way, I do try my hardest to not let it affect others and keep a smile on my face. It’s all you really can do and hope your feelings will change.

My first ever temple visit! :) #templesquare #slc #slcadventure #minivacay #lds #mormonlove #beautiful #saltlaketemple #ilovemyboyfriend #kawaii  (at Salt Lake Temple)

My first ever temple visit! :) #templesquare #slc #slcadventure #minivacay #lds #mormonlove #beautiful #saltlaketemple #ilovemyboyfriend #kawaii (at Salt Lake Temple)

More garden fun! :) #internationalpeacegardens #france #greece #finland #statue #hopeinthehildren #japanese #slc #slcadventure #minivacay #ilovemyboyfriend #kawaii

More garden fun! :) #internationalpeacegardens #france #greece #finland #statue #hopeinthehildren #japanese #slc #slcadventure #minivacay #ilovemyboyfriend #kawaii

Fun times at the International Peace gardens! (Chinese Garden part) #doglions #bridges #chinesegarden #internationalpeacegardens #slc #slcadventure #minivacay #ilovemyboyfriend #gorgeousday #kawaii  (at International Peace Gardens)

Fun times at the International Peace gardens! (Chinese Garden part) #doglions #bridges #chinesegarden #internationalpeacegardens #slc #slcadventure #minivacay #ilovemyboyfriend #gorgeousday #kawaii (at International Peace Gardens)

Our road trip! ❤️ #roadtrip #minivacay #lasvegas #nevada #mestique #arizona #beaverdammountains #beautiful #rainbow #landscapephotography #amateurphotography #lovedthesky #finallyinSLC #ilovemyboyfriend #kawaii

Our road trip! ❤️ #roadtrip #minivacay #lasvegas #nevada #mestique #arizona #beaverdammountains #beautiful #rainbow #landscapephotography #amateurphotography #lovedthesky #finallyinSLC #ilovemyboyfriend #kawaii

Hidden Mickey on the way to Utah! Haha. :) #hiddenmickey #disneykid #cloudwatching #roadtrip #SLCbound #goodtimes #ilovemyboyfriend #minivacay #kawaii

Hidden Mickey on the way to Utah! Haha. :) #hiddenmickey #disneykid #cloudwatching #roadtrip #SLCbound #goodtimes #ilovemyboyfriend #minivacay #kawaii

These two are too cute! 🐰❤️🐰 #bunnylove #tails #bunbun #chilling #couch #lovethem #cutecouple #nannylife #amateurphotography #kawaii

These two are too cute! 🐰❤️🐰 #bunnylove #tails #bunbun #chilling #couch #lovethem #cutecouple #nannylife #amateurphotography #kawaii

Someone needed to show off all his trophies to me. Haha. I feel so honored. :) #showoff #cute #nannylife #trophies #winning #basketball #bragger #kawaii

Someone needed to show off all his trophies to me. Haha. I feel so honored. :) #showoff #cute #nannylife #trophies #winning #basketball #bragger #kawaii

themed by coryjohnny for tumblr